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A Hot Sales Tip, A Hot Marketing Tip, and a Hot Book Tip Walk Into a Bar
Well hello there! A few fun tidbits on this fabulous Tuesday: Today I'm in studio recording DAY TWO of THE MIDDLE FINGER PROJECT audiobook for Audible—and my god, is this a blast! I'm documenting it...
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Psst—Here’s an Original, Thoughtful, Fun-Loving Holiday Script to Send Your...
So it's the Friday before Christmas and you've PROBABLY JUST REALIZED THAT YOU ARE OUT OF TIME. I know, happens so quickly, doesn't it? I've got a whole list of people that I intended to send presents...
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Oh, Get a F*cking Grip, Already
“QUIT WAITING ON being told stuff is OK. What are you, six? That said, you had more balls when you were six, didn't you?” This is the way my smart AF British friend, Matthew Kimberley, opens a chapter...
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13 Reasons Why That Crafty D-Bag is Making More Money Than You
“You got your freaking Christmas tree ONLINE?” My best friend from high school roared, slapping her leg. She is not an internet person, like me. Then again, I don't suppose there are many people who...
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Interview Me for The Middle Finger Project Book!
Oh my. I've just done something terrible. I mean, good terrible, but still pretty terrible. Is that a category? CAN THAT BE A CATEGORY? For the truth is that I, Ashley E. Ambirge, have just spent a lot...
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I Tattooed My Eyelids! Or: On Just Showing the Friggy Frig Up
It feels like a teeny, tiny vibrator on your eyelid. And THAT, friends, is my description of what, precisely, it feels like to get your eyelids tattooed. Your eyelids! Ya fucking EYELIDS! [Said exactly...
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What Is It With Building Contractors? REALLY THO. (Plus a Lesson on...
Okay, serious question: why is it that building contractors are the worst human beings ever worst business owners on the actual planet? What is going on here? Do I need to make an online course? Do I...
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What’s Your Little Ball? (Not to Be Confused With: “Your Little Balls.”)
I'LL SHOW YOU! …is definitely not what I was thinking when I sliced left with the knife. Alas, I applied as much pressure as I could: I wanted a nice, clean line. No mess. No more worrying about this...
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It Doesn’t Matter Where You Start. But Waiting to Start Will Kill You.
You know who's going to hate me after they read this? (Besides the evangelicals, who always hate me.) THE PLANNERS. Godddd, did I used to be jealous of The Planners! These cruise directors were over...
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If You Need a Client Contract Template, I AM YOUR JESUS. [Omg, I just said...
Well WHADDYA KNOW. Here's me coming in hot on a Thursday morning, still wearing yesterday's underwear, having all sorts of PTSD from the dinner I made last night. (Let's just say I'd rather put fish...
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Our * Book * Comes * Out * TOOOMORRRROWWWW— Plus a ~Secret Excerpt~ to...
I AM SPILLING COFFEE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! TOMORROW'S THE BIG FREAKING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is when I'm going to make a complete ass of myself in bookstores all over Manhattan, as our book—THE...
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People Got PiSsSsED at Me Last Year for Promoting B-School
By “people,” of course I mean, like, three, who were probably drinking booze one day and then decided to have at it on the internet—which we all know is a bad idea. AT LEAST COME AT ME SOBER SO I CAN...
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Calling Anyone Who Wants to Write a Book!
(Like, picturing me calling you with a giant buffalo horn as I lather Vaseline in between my legs because clearly we are on the savanna and clearly my legs are chafed as we do this.) Exciting freaking...
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I’m Gonna Be on The Jenny McCarthy Show—YOU GOTTA TUNE IN!
YOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! GET THIS WILD TURKEY! ON MONDAY I'M GOING TO BE LIVE on Jenny McCarthy's Sirius XM Radio Show from 11:20 – 11:40am ET to talk about the book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS CRAZYYYYY!!! WHO AM...
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Can’t Believe I Said This to JENNY F*CKING MCCARTHY
What if I shit myself? This was exactly what I was thinking, yesterday, as I was getting ready to TALK TO A CELEBRITY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. Not because I was nervous, but because I was up the...
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Rec for Taxes (Save Us All)
I'd rather lick a moldy iguana carcass than do my bookkeeping + taxes. (God, could I use a more disgusting example? GROSS!) But, seriously. I sat down this morning, intent on FINALLY carving out the...
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HOLY OTTER URINE ON A DONUT! If You’re Stressed About $$$, I’m Donating My...
Oiwehgiehwoweihgiehwgiehwehighew. That's basically what my hands WANT to type. Except I am going to force them to say something much more elegant, like: Otter urine! Can of cold farts! Room full of...
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#REALTALK: Here’s What Saved ~My~ Business
Her name was Karen, and Karen did NOT like me. At least, that’s how I took it the day my application came back DENIIIEDDDDD. “Consists of or includes immoral or scandalous matter under Section 2(a).”...
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The Emergency Money Workshop: REGISTER FREE HERE >
BLINDFOLDED PILLOW FIGHTS. That’s what people are resorting to. Putting their hoodies on backwards with the hood part over their face and then trying to whack their spouse with a giant down-stuffed...
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Use a Deadline The Way You Use Condoms: Every. Freaking. Time. (And Other...
It’s okay, YOU CAN ADMIT IT: You sort of hated me from all of my emails yesterday. It’s okay! I know you did! But then there was this other side of you that was kind of like…weirdly fascinated. Like,...
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