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The 1% Rule for When You’re Feeling Rather “MEH, SUCKS” About Everything and...
Well it’s Thursday and for everyone’s delight, I’ve compiled a random list of shit I absolutely should not know, but do: That you should photograph interiors with a wide-angle lens, set to 20mm instead...
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Introducing: The First Annual “Wipe Your Buns With $30,000” Challenge! (Haha,...
I know. I KNOW. I bring such an air of sophistication to everything I do. (See also: The Middle Finger Project, our Unf*ckwithable line of classes, and the sweet, sweet letterboard in my living room...
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How to Get Back to Feeling Like Your Old Self Again
I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but turns out, renting a room above an Irish pub that’s rather “could be great, could be a fungal groin infection” is an excellent idea. I do not say this...
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You Don’t Exist to Please Dipshits
You know how when you meet someone, and they give you this snotty little look like, “you’re a fucking freak,” and then you start wondering, “AM I A FUCKING FREAK?! IS THAT WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” And...
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The Halloween Email Your Clients Will LOVE (Hint: It’s a Promo ~In Disguise~)
It’s Halloween: and that doesn’t only mean gluing a bunch of paint samples to your shirt and showing up to parties as “50 Shades of Gray” (ACE), it also means it’s a killer opportunity to run a fun...
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The Four Paragraph Email You ~Need~ to Memorize For When Clients Owe You...
Recently, my friend S called and said: “Shit, balls, fuck, I’m running out of cash flow—my clients owe me money but they haven’t paid yet and I don’t know what to…say?” Okay, so maybe I added the...
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Pricing Your Stuff: THE DEEP, DARK SECRET YOU NEVER KNEW
Isn’t pricing a GROAN? Like, you physically groan when it’s time to “figure out your pricing,” because WHY DOES IT SEEM LIKE THE MOST ARBITRARY THING ON EARTH? How do I know if it’s right? Is it too...
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The Tired Excuse That Women Need to Stop Making (Have You Ever Used It?)
Last week I almost made a very big mistake. You see, I had THIS GRAND IDEA that led me to performing the following slightly delirious activities: Scouting jungle wallpaper for my dressing room; Buying...
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Percentage Off or Flat Rate? Memorize This Bomb-Ass Trick 🙌
I hate rules. No swimming after eating. Let him call you. Sorry, our video library can only be watched from within The United States. (Stab. Stab. Stab.) But there is one rule, however, that I think is...
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Disobedient Book of the Week: Don’t Keep Your Day Job, by Cathy Heller
Omg, do you guys love how I just totally pretended I was a book critic and made it seem like I review one book a week? Who needs The New York Times when you've got The Middle Finger Project? Neck to...
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How I Went From Fifteen-Year-Old Trailer Park Trash to Rich Bitch—And The...
When I was fifteen, I learned not to put Ben Gay on a penis. I know, there are so many words that don't belong together in that sentence: fifteen and penis, for one, and then of course, penis and any...
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THE BIG BOOK COVER REVEAL! See Also: The Time I Tried to Convince You to...
So guys, I've finally discovered “the secret to success”—and no, it does not require Himalayan bath salts*. *Also does not require Ben Gay, thank god. The real secret to success is in learning how...
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The Secret to Getting Yo’ Brilliant Ass Featured in a Major Magazine
Three to six months—BURN THAT INTO YOUR BRAIN. That's how long it used to take a baby dinosaur egg to hatch (fun facts on a Wednesday), how long it takes to repair damage to your credit report, how...
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OH HELL YEAH: Book Pre-Orders Open at 6:24am ET on Black Friday!
It's here! It's happening! The moment that my eleven-year-old self and my cat* have been waiting for for years and years and years and years! THIS COMING FRIDAY MORNING AT 6:24AM EASTERN, we'll be...
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Author Keeps Time Log That Shows 182 Emotions of Writing a Book From Start to...
At least, that's what I'd title this if I were writing about myself in the third person. You know, like if The New York Times were to feature this article. Or on The Onion! Except The Onion headline...
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NOW AVAILABLE, OMG: Pre-Order The Book! Pre-Order The Book! I’m An Excitable...
I should be wearing clothes right now. I always imagined that when I finally wrote a book and made the big pre-order announcement, I'd be wearing clothes. But alas, I did not plan on making this...
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I’m The Least Spiritual Fuck On the Planet
Not that you didn't know that already. Which is why if you come at me with chakras or crystals or dildos scented with patchouli oil, I will make a face that looks pretty much like I have just swallowed...
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The Commitment-Phobe’s Guide to Making a Decision When The Grass is Always...
You ever do that thing where you're fidgety and restless and the grass is always greener and you're never really content with what you've got so you're constantly searching for some legendary “BETTER”...
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A Handy F*cking Checklist of Everything You Can Write Off as an Online...
So, first of all: last night was hilarious. If you didn't see my Insta stories, go watch now before they're gone. The short version: my favorite company on the planet, Bench, sent me a RIDICULOUSLY...
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Sean Ogle is a Bitch. Wouldn’t It Be Funny If That Were the Title? It’s Not,...
I'm going to drown the fucker in pickle juice. Yes, that's what I've decided: humiliation by pickle juice. Except it won't really be the pickle juice that does him in—it'll be the whiskey. The whiskey...
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