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Your Life in 6 Words.
= Remember that one time I got loose, drank too much eggnog* and packaged everything together in the TMF store for a wild, wild west of a discount–and then told all continental U.S. buyers that I’d...
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Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.
Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste. You’re probably thinking the same thing that the 19 year old male cashier was. Try making that transaction with a straight face. But...
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Why Your Clients Should Never Have to “Think About It”
READ THIS FIRST. People are moving so fast now that they don’t have time to think. They’re scanning, swiping, clicking, liking, tweeting and moving on at full velocity. They’re making decisions based...
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How to Make a REAL Emotional Connection With Your Marketing: A Sample from...
You know how I’m always ranting on about making an emotional connection in your copy, your brand, your message and every single thing that you do? And you’re all, “What does that even mean, Ash?”...
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The Numbers Don’t Mean Jack.
Hi. It’s me, Ash. Was that obvious? I’m sorry to pardon your regular programming, but today we’re going to talk numbers. I hate numbers–you can go square root your mom. But sometimes, you’ve got to...
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Stuck On The First Paragraph? Three (Uncommon) Ways to Bust Out Your...
Sometimes, you stare at the screen. And you stare at the screen. And then you go get a bagel. And then you stare at the screen. *whips out nail file* *stares at cuticles* *stares at screen* *stares...
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Take Off Your Girdle And Show A Little Leg: On Giving Your Business Some...
If I could scream from the top of Brad Pitt’s rooftop (have you SEEN those Chanel commercials?), you know what I’d yell? LOOOOOOOOSSSSSSEEENNNNNNNNNNN UPPPPPPPPPPPPP! Of course I’d be embarrassed...
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Paper In Your Coffee
- There are some people who don’t get the whole concept of an assembly line. You know who I’m talking about – those hanyacks at the Starbucks who come up beside you at the milk station, their panties...
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How Not to Feel Like an Asshole (Two Loud-Mouthed Audio Interviews)
Holy smokes! It’s Friday. I’m drinking (a big, giant vat of) coffee. And I’m wearing Adidas yoga pants that are (really) not so flattering. (But since I bought them for 59 times the price when I was...
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7 Companies Doing Personality RIGHT.
- Remember that one time every single day when I talked about how giving your business a personality will help you earn trust, differentiate yourself, and sell more to the right people? (As long as...
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25 Words That Will Make You Seem Bland, Useless, Stale, Dime-a-Dozen,...
If you want to stand out, feel fresh, appear interesting and get noticed… …then you’ve got to use language that stands out, feels fresh, is interesting and gets noticed. This is common sense, but of...
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How to Sell Anything With Words–Including a Used Ceiling Fan
- I’m about to cry. I’m about to cry because I am so filthy proud of one of my former copywriting students. When wrapping up our last conversation on writing take-’em-to-their-knees product...
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How to Give a Brandgasm
Oh, look! It’s Tuesday. And if you recall–ahem–Tuesday was the day I mentioned you should drop by the blog. (That’s here.) While I don’t have a hot dog vendor on hand–I know, right? What a rip off–I...
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Success Doesn’t Sit Around On Its Ass–So What Are You Doing?
- It’s Friday, and I only have one thing to say to you. - “The only thing that is distinctly different about me is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might...
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Frustrated You Can’t Catch a Break? No One Giving You a Shot? Need Experience?
“No one will give me a chance.” “There are no opportunities.” “I don’t know how to break into the field.” “If no one gives me a shot, how can I build the required experience?” I hear a lot of that...
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The Secret to Creating the Elusive “Emotional Connection” In Writing
I’m often asked: What’s the best way to make an emotional connection with your writing? The answer, of course, is obvious: Talk badly about every single one of your neighbors (we can all relate)…and...
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Brandgasm 101 Open for Registration
- I have two things to say to you: 1. Don’t drink and drive. 2. My new project, Brandgasm 101, is now live! Registration runs for 14 days on the dot. We like even numbers. And dots. Worth...
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Strike “Newsletter” From Your Vocabulary: What To Say (Instead) to Entice,...
I’m not a badgerer. Except when I am. Like when the light is left on in the bathroom, for instance. Or those people who leave hunks of bread on their plate and then PUT IT INTO THE SINK instead of...
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Percentage Off or Flat Rate? How to Run a Sale That SELLS.
I hate rules. No swimming after eating. Let him call you. Sorry, our video library can only be watched from within The United States. (Stab. Stab. Stab.) No white after Labor Day. And other silly...
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Success Is Where the Heart Is
He sat in the far corner of the room–no clip board, no notepad, no smile. I couldn’t make out his face–the room was dark and the curtains were drawn. I waited for Al Pacino to bust down the door,...
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