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Decide What Really Fucking Matters to You
Good ideas require a courageous host. Oh god, did I just introduce a virus analogy? Please forgive me, but it’s true. There are so many ideas floating around out there, half of which are definitely in...
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[New Podcast 🎤] Abortion, Guns, God & Pussies—And Is Civil War Inevitable?
Okay, so I have SO MUCH TO TELL YOU. So, so much. (Besides the fact that “Abortion, Gods, Gun & Pussies” is definitely going to be my new personal tagline.) Right now I’m on the ground in the...
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You Don’t Exist to Please Dipshits
You know how when you meet someone, and they give you this snotty little look like, “you’re a fucking freak,” and then you start wondering, “AM I A FUCKING FREAK?! IS THAT WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” And...
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Right Now, Someone Out There is Admiring You, Greatly.
They might not have said it. In fact, they probably kept it to themselves—“don’t want to seem like a creepy ass stalker.” But no matter who you are, you have changed things for someone. You have made...
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“Fuck It, Not Voting, Doesn’t Matter”—And the Surprising Reason Why It...
It’s fahking freezing here in Philly today—forty-five degrees, which we all know is basically thirty-two degrees, because there’s no rounding up when it comes to the weather. You ever notice that? NO...
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I Wrote a Book About Changing Careers—And Here’s My Advice to Donald J....
Walking around the house this morning looking like my best self—AKA with an oversized Columbia fleece and these really, really thin sweatpants from Target that kind of make my ass look like a bouncy...
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I Was On BBC Radio London—ARE YOU DYING???
Yoooooo! Ho ho hooooooo! Maybe a little too soon for the Santa greetings, but whatever, IT'S THANKSGIVING HERE IN THE U.S., which means that I've officially pulled out my clear bin full of balls and...
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💌 Free Email Template 💌 Switch Your Clients to Retainer for the New Year
It's that time of yeeeeaaaar! No, not the holidays. Fuck the holidays. (Just kidding, I LOVE the holidays.) (Ugh, a jolly asshole like me would.) Rather, it's the time of year for you to announce to...
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💌 Free Email Template 💌 Pay Your Bill, Bitch
Omg, just kidding, don't call any of your clients “bitch.” Maybe in your head but definitely don't say it aloud. However, you know what you probably should do? Get any and all of your outstanding...
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“You’re Too Expensive”—NONSENSE, KITTEN. Here’s Your Reply.
Well now that last week happened and I can do something—anything—besides TWEET ANGRY THINGS INTO THE ETHER—I wanted to pop my face into your box to offer SOMETHING useful in this bullshit world,...
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Why You Should Never Do Another Free Client Call Again
Hey, I got a good idea! How about you call up Dan Rather and say, listen Dannnnnayyyyyyyy, I need an hour of your time, buddy—I really need to know about journalism, and so I thought I could pick your...
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Are You Making This Mistake With Your Lead Magnet? (It’s Super Duper Common.)
THANKS TO MY INDUSTRY, I say the word “magnet” far more than I'd like. It's never not reminded me of “maggot,” so yes, I think about housefly larvae rather often. Lead maggots. Lead magnets. …I really...
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(A Really Good) Answer to, “How Do I Stand Out in a Sea Full of Competitors?!”
Last night we watched LOVE, SARAH, a movie on AppleTV about a dead woman's child, mother, and best friend all banding together to start the bakery of aforementioned dead woman's dreams. The movie takes...
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Unintimidated HQ™️—My New Communication Company Inspired by Kamala Harris 💪
Kamala. Motherf*cking. Harris. IT HAPPENED! IT'S HAPPENING! WE'RE MAKING HISTORY RIGHT…NOW! I cannot tear myself away from the inauguration. (I legit got emotional the moment I turned it on this...
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You Know the Best Way to Sell a Service? GATEWAY DRUGS, MY FRIEND.
“She said yes to the $500 offer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Soon as I got that text this morning I screeeeammeeddd back in an audio message, “YESSSSSSSSS!!!!! OF COURSE SHE FUCKING DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”I...
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The Trick to Writing a Bangin’ Resume, Punching Imposter Syndrome in the...
MY GOD I WANT TO SCREAM.Not really, I don't scream, not unless someone tags me in a photograph from 1996, in which case I always scream, because how exciting to find little pieces of yourself in other...
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[ANNOUNCEMENT] Early Bird Tickets TOMORROW @ 9am New York, 2pm London!
IT'SSSSSS HEREEEEEEEEE!By “it,” I do not mean the perpetually re-sprouting hair on your chinny chin chin (though that's a constant fun house, is it not?), nor do I mean the pair of compression socks...
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On Having “Enough Experience,” Portfolios (Yay or Nay?), And Getting Taken...
Once upon a time when I was young and naive and still believed “liquor before beer, you're in the clear,” I also believed that I needed to have 800 items in my portfolio before anyone would “take me...
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Read If You’re Thinking, “I Want to Go Freelance, But Who the Hell is Going...
The first time I ever thought about striking it out on my own as a professional freelance writer, you know what held me back?Not “fear.” <–Gaaaaad, the overuse of this word can eat my armpit. Not a...
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Welp, Finland’s #1 AGAIN for World Happiness, Those Clever Bastards—Here’s Why
Happiness is an elusive little shit.This is why, when the annual United Nations World Happiness Report comes out each year, I rip that thing open with my fangs. (Note to self: say”fangs” more...
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