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If you’re both killer & poet, YOU GET RICH.
“Most good copywriters fall into two categories: Poets and Killers. Poets see an ad as an end. Killers, as a means to an end. If you are both killer & poet? You get rich.” Ogilvy once said...
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Adultery Saturdays: Are You Chucking Rotting Pork Chops?
Life might be like a box of chocolates, (or slightly-chilled dark chocolate truffles, if I have any say in the matter). But it’s also like a huge, daunting puzzle. A winding labyrinth* of tiny...
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When You’re Having Buckets of Sh*t Dumped On You Left & Right
Once upon a time, you were young and inspired, and you knew things about the world. Things like peanut butter tastes better without jelly (fact), the height of a girl’s ponytail likely matches her...
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I Believe in Stomach Ulcers The Way Most People Believe in God
I believe in stomach ulcers the way most people believe in God. I can’t see them, nor do I have proof they’ve ever existed in my body, but somehow, I BELIEVE THEY MUST BE THERE. I mean, how could...
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Extortion, Manipulation, Fraud & Deceit: Breaking My Silence
For nearly a year now, I have not slept. My fingers are constantly in motion, as I pick and pull and peel from the anxiety. When someone I love grabs my fingers and holds them down against my will, my...
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You Can Always Make More Money, But You Can Never Make More Principle.
I can’t help but wonder if the man seated in 22D has witnessed me biting my lip over and over and over and over again for the past 4 hours. There’s a cycle, you know. Bite, peel, move left. Bite, peel,...
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So, People Suck at Talking to Each Other
People suck at talking to each other. I’ve thought about this post for days now, and turns out? That’s my grand epiphany. My big, profound opening line. As a professional communicator & copywriter,...
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23 Phrases Every Stressed Out, Strung Out, Well-Meaning (Yet Irritable)...
Being able to elegantly SAY WHAT YOU MEAN isn’t always an easy task— —particularly when you’re too busy for petty sh*t like showers, your stress hormones are being IV dripped into your veins at the...
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WANTED: Your Jerkiest, Most Unprofessional, Inappropriate Business Emails....
You ever get an email that just pisses you off? All you’re trying to do is go about your day, maybe fire off a few invoices, maybe do a little creative work, maybe try to avoid having a mid-day...
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Hurling Macbooks, Clubbing Pet Hamsters & Other Sunday Pleasantries
I used to tell my mom everything—from my (entirely uneventful) thoughts on men, to my idealistic views on the world (ignorant conservatives should have their bibles switched out for a Spanish-only...
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Your Attention Span Is Less Than That of a Bloody GOLDFISH (And So Is Your...
I remember my exact thought the first time I ever saw a sales letter: What a crock. I was working with an outside marketing consultant who was brought on board to work one-on-one with me on a...
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Creativity Zapped? Try This Madman Trick.
So I have this theory about creativity. First of all, it drinks bourbon, neat. And second of all, it’s hungry. Hungry like the kind of hungry you get when you only had a dinky little grapefruit...
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How to Say No To Your Clients Without Being a Bitch
I want to talk about managing clients today, because everybody seems to have a love/hate relationship with theirs, and my theory is that the hate part comes from one of two sources: 1. Tightwads....
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The Top 20 Most Original Gift Ideas for That Fucking Writer You Know (No, Not...
So you have to buy a present for a writer, huh? This inevitably means you’re left scratching your ass in the middle of the aisle of a Barnes & Noble as we speak, wondering which of the holy...
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Running a Holiday Sale? Memorize This by Heart.
So the other day I’m Christmas shopping here in Costa Rica, which is automatically hilarious because, first of all, because they spell “Ho Ho Ho!” like “Jo Jo Jo!” which never gets less funny, and...
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Million Things To Do? Prioritize by ROI. (And Then Get a Life.)
So if you’re anything like me (which obviously you are or else you wouldn’t be reading this blog and/or wishing for those last 10 pounds to magically fall off), you’ve constantly got a never-ending...
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FREE DOWNLOAD: 30 Holiday Script Templates for Handling All Those Business...
So this morning I’m sitting here going about my business, writing up a storm, guzzling coffee, and otherwise trying not to be mad that it’s sunny and 90 degrees where I am in Costa Rica when ALL I...
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21 Last Minute Gift Ideas (That Aren’t a Freaking Yankee Candle) For Busy...
So, if you’re anything like me, you just now realized that Christmas is tomorrow, and wasn’t I suppose to go shopping or something? When you’re busy running a business, it’s easy to let everything...
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Repeat After Me: You Are Not Your Buyer
It’s two days before the new year, and I’m doing exactly what you are: Dicking around on the internet and calling it “downtime.” It’s absolutely PHENOMENAL. But, as we all prepare to become supermodel...
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Feeling lazy? Unmotivated? BLEH? Open Up, Sweetheart. Here’s Some Medicine.
So yesterday I’m all, “MUST START NEW YEAR WITH GOOD HABITS,” which obviously leads to drinking an entire bottle of wine AND taking a jog, in that order, because COMPROMISE. So here’s me all decked out...
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