I need you to know that work-life balance isn’t possible.
That investing your time into numerous equally-loved hobbies isn’t achievable.
And having it all? ISN’T A THING.
I mean, you know how it goes. We’re supposed to have careers, (not jobs). Fitness routines that leave us physically spent and also somehow more energized. Excellent eating habits, (because hello, pass all the kale), and exciting, always-sensual/always-twitterpated/always-easy relationships.
Somehow, all these things seamlessly manage to fit in between scrapbooking (do people still do that?), social dinners with sparkling champagne and home-cooked scones, scrubbing the bathtub, eight hours of sleep, and picture-worthy antics that we can post shamelessly all over the internet so everyone can see just how rich and fulfilling and perfect our lives are, AMIRIGHT?
But seriously? The reality is much less glamorous.
Because chances are, if you’re really into your career, you give it everything you’ve got every single day. This means you’ve forgotten to grocery shop, spritzed Febreeze on your slacks for the third day running, and have seriously contemplated the benefits of shoving in an espresso-soaked tampon just to keep things LIVELY ALL THE LIVELONG DAY. (Also, I’m sorry I just mentioned tampons. Never again. Promise.)
And if you “just” have a job? You’ll spend all of your energy a) stressing about what you actually want to do for a career, b) searching for other jobs that might be slightly less shitty, c) having one, then two, then seven glasses of wine with dinner to cope with how COMPLETELY CONFUSED YOU FEEL ALL OF THE TIME, and dragging your hungover ass through the paces.
Have I mentioned that those perfect hobbies are infrequent? Because, SURPRISE. Being a functioning adult is fucking hard, and sometimes model train sets and running clubs and knitting groups just aren’t fucking possible. And if you actually do have a routine hobby, it’s because you’re really obsessed, so you spend less time at the gym and more time blowing glass.
So, sometimes Taco Bell happens. Sometimes you have to pull the shower curtain closed when company comes over because OH, THE HORROR. And sometimes you feel so completely overwhelmed by all the things you are, or more importantly, all the things you aren’t.
And that’s completely okay.
See, the funny thing about fulfilling lives is that there is no formula. Yeah, it’s probably good to eat green things sometimes, and maybe sweat a little. It’s important to bathe often enough that, as a friend of mine said, you don’t “smell like ass and hot garbage water”. You need to check voicemails occasionally and at least have enough clean underwear so if you land a hot date you’re not stuck with those ones you bought when you were ten pounds lighter and four years younger that have the rip in the elastic.
And YES, I have some four-year old underwear, and I kindly thank you for not holding it against me. (Though it’s totally worth mentioning I have no idea what it is. Probably something horrible, like a really hot skillet.) PLEASE DON’T HOLD A HOT SKILLET AGAINST ME, YOU GUYS. I BURN EASILY.
But the dirty truth is that my fulfilling life looks entirely different from yours. And I can promise you it sure as hell isn’t balanced. Because when you throw yourself completely into doing what it is that gets you off, you don’t have time for everything else that’s supposed to get you off.
See also: you only need to want what you actually fucking want, not what you think you should.
Because the fact of the matter is that all you need to want is complete and intense happiness. The rest is just details.
I don’t care who you are. Where you’re from. I don’t care what you do, as long as you love me you’re living in the best way you know how. Because Margie from down the road can peek behind the shower curtain and see the water-stained faucet. The guy from the Pacos Tacos can know your order by heart, (3 carnitas tacos with as much guacamole as they can put inside a tortilla without getting fired), and you can totally marathon episodes of Arrested Development instead of actually signing up for a marathon.
Because you can’t want or do or have it all. But you can sure as shit have what matters.
How do you strive for work/life balance? Or do you at all? Give us the strategies in the comments! And say hi to Jess, you animal.
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