Oh, look! It’s Thursday! And here I am, popping into your web browser, mobile phone, and/or iPad. I sort of hope you’re reading this on the toilet, because I have an announcement.
I’d like to introduce you to not one, but two new columns we’re introducing here at TMFproject:
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► JUST THE TIP THURSDAYS (today, calendar phobes), which will include short & (not so) sweet practical, actionable tips for business and life, because length is overrated. In short, you won’t have to comb through big, long hairy blog posts to get the actionables. We’ll save those for early in the week–depilation kit not included.
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► Then, on Saturdays, we’ve got a very special column comin’ your way titled ADULTERY, spearheaded by our very own staff creative writer, Jessica Manuszak, with hilarious insights, observations and what-the-fucks about this abomination we call being an adult–and how we can all learn to live a little better. Or at least get more ass. Because while this website centers around unconventionally smart strategies for your small business, it’s also about living BIG.* Or at least not with a constant misery hangover.
*Insert butt joke here.
I hope you’ll enjoy them both. I also hope you don’t egg Jess’ BMW*. But you won’t, because you’re going to fall madly, wildly, stupidly in love with her, and then all you’ll want is MORE JESS, and then I’ll have no choice but to make her CEO, and then she’ll fire me for buying fancy filet mignon dinners and putting them on the company card. And then what am I gonna do?
*Jess doesn’t have a BMW. What do you think this is?
Whenever you have something hard / uncomfortable / difficult to say to someone–whether it’s to your client, your employee, your web designer, your friend, or your bat shit crazy mother-in-law–the following magic words will get you out of any situation gracefully, looking like a pro. (And commanding respect, too.)
I’m going to have to insist __________________.
I’m going to have to insist on billing you for the additional hours.
I’m going to have to insist on payment before the 1st.
I’m going to have to insist you finish the project as agreed.
I’m going to have to insist on this fabric for the wedding dress. (Ahem, mothers-in-law.)
I’m going to have to insist you carry my luggage. (You never know?)
I’m going to have to insist on weekly updates.
I’m going to have to insist we do things according to plan.
I’m going to have to insist on Thai. (Because, NOODLES.)
I’m going to have to insist you let me make this choice on my own.
I’m going to have to insist that it’s a no.
I’m going to have to insist we halt this project.
I’m going to have to insist you wear underwear. (See? Versatile!)
I’m going to have to insist you buy me a drink first.
I’m going to have to insist that it takes 187 licks to actually get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
I’m going to have to insist on slapping you with this fish.
I’m going to have to insist you keep reading this column so we can all stay sane, look way better than we are, and then teach someone else and make it look like it was totally your idea in the first place.
Just The Tip Thursdays. Because length is overrated.